She opened her eyes at the fifth beep from her cell phone, looked at it, and threw it across the bed where it lay beeping faithfully. Half an hour later she was rushing to the bathroom with a toothbrush poking out from her mouth. Her rounded smooth cheeks bulging under the pressure of strawberry flavored toothpaste. On her way she managed to mumble a “good Morning” to her mom. Her mom, not clearly a morning person either, mumbled one back.
She stood in the ladies compartment, leaning on the compartment partition. Her kurti kept fluttering in the wind as she fumbled with her hair and her earphones. She saw younger crowd from her college, noisy, vibrant, cheerful….she wondered why “He” hated them so much. But she never bothered to ask. “He” didn’t like questions.
She stepped into the college, looked for her friend in the crowd. She saw her, waved at her frantically and motioned her towards the lecture hall. Her friend, cutting her attention away from a group made of mostly guys, moved towards her through the crowd. She amused herself by counting the number of eyes following her friend as she moved gracefully in her jeans and tank top. “Maybe”…She thought…..”I should come dressed like that someday”…..but she dismissed it…..”He” didn’t like that type either…she wouldn’t bother to argue.
The lectures kept rambling on…One good thing about doing an arts course was that the lectures could be spent sleeping and nobody would give a shit. She drooled through her history and philosophy. Woke up and sketched the baldies head during psychology. As she was about to return to her hibernation in sociology, few words hit her hard on the face and she sat up straight.”……and today’s topic of discussion will be Male dominance and chauvinism”. As the lecture progressed she felt the cold knot in her stomach grow….it grew to the level where she felt nauseous…she didn’t want to hear this…rather “He” wouldn’t want her to hear this….”He” didn’t like the progressive type….just before she could do anything about it the discussion was steered off to WDC’s. The knot loosened but was not resolved.
Much to her friend’s surprise, she rushed out of the college building after the lecture. She wanted to get her head cleared. She was always torn between becoming a modern liberal professional and being with “Him”, but this was too much….She put on her music and moved towards the station. She tried not to think about it…whenever she thought about it she felt like leaving “him”….so she tried again not to think about it….she wasn’t strong….she couldn’t live without him. She didn’t know why.
As she walked home from the station she could not help but think, she had sacrificed the best years of her life, her beauty, lifestyle, friends and freedom just to be with “him”. Was “he” worth it? It didn’t matter now…she was deep inside “him”. “He” wouldn’t let her out. She wasn’t strong enough. Besides her phone was ringing…it was “him”…she didn’t want to talk to him then…but she answered it anyway…”he” didn’t like it when she wouldn’t answer “his” calls…..
-Sagar Bhale
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